What the Qu'ran really says about...well, everyone else.

So many Americans are truly ignorant about what the Muslim religion has to say about them.  There should be no confusion. If you are anything other than a radicalized Islamist, than they believe you should die. Here are some direct quotes pulled from the Qu'ran to show you exactly what those Islamists that our President wants to bring into our country want to do to you, your loved ones and your children given the chance.


Fyi...An infidel is anyone who does not practice Islam. 

Quran 5:33 “Maim and crucify the infidels if they criticize Islam”

Quran 8:12 “Terrorize and behead those who believe in scriptures other than the Qur’an.”

Quran 8:60 “Muslims must muster all weapons to terrorize the infidels."

Quran 2:191 “Slay the unbelievers wherever you find them."

Quran 3:28 “Muslims must not take the infidels as friends”

Quran 3:85 “Any religion other than Islam is not acceptable”

Quran 5:33 “Maim and crucify the infidels if they criticize Islam”

Quran 8:12 “Terrorize and behead those who believe in scriptures other than the Qur’an.”

Quran 8:60 “Muslims must muster all weapons to terrorize the infidels.”

Quran 8:65 “The unbelievers are stupid; urge the Muslims to fight them.”

Quran 9:5 “When opportunity arises kill the infidels wherever you catch them.”

Quran 9:30 “The Jews and the Christians are perverts; fight them"

Quran 9:123 “Make war on the infidels living in your neighborhood.”

Quran 22:19 “Punish the unbelievers with garments of fire, hooked iron rods, boiling water; melt their skin and bellies.”

Quran 47:4 “Do not hanker for peace with the infidels; behead them when you catch them.”


So next time the mainstream media tries to tell you that this is a peaceful religion, use your brain. They are taught to kill, rape, maim, and terrorize. Do not be duped into believing anything else. Not all Muslims are terrorists, however all Muslims read and believe the above instructions.  

Generation Xbox has no sense of humor.

Yesterday while on G+,  I came across this adorable picture.

Which spurred these ridiculously, overly butt-hurt comments from the PC zombies.  

Yes, because Justin Beiber is the standard for "doing well in life" and everyone else is jealous. 

Yeah, because whoever created this meme has the secret ability to kill people with a simple "like."  

Because liking a sarcastic post will certainly "Send you to hell."  

You would think by now the Xbox generation would have figured out that "sticks and stones can break your bones but words can never hurt you."

But these are the uber-sensitive, overly emotional children of Gen X-ers who have been coddled all their lives, given trophies for 9th place, and have  no real understanding how life really works. 

With their obsession with Snapchat and Xbox you would think they would understand that one can not be killed from a meme posted to a floundering social network.

These kids are not going to be fun to hang out with as adults. 

Cringe.

Intolerance is an ugly word.

So if I re-post a dear friends correct quote of the Quran verses that tell Islamic followers to kill all people who don't believe as they do, then I hate all Muslims? If I argue for a stronger response to ISIS and a stronger border to prevent the Paris tragedy from happening here, then I am intolerant and must hate all Muslims? If I am a Christian, and proud of it, then I must hate all Muslims? It is so funny how people assume you are hate-filled and intolerant when you don't agree with their pansy, love everyone, fairytale. This is real. It is happening. It WILL happen here. How quickly we forget the horror of 9/11...the fear we all had in our hearts for days, months... The sick feeling we carried with us in the pit of our stomach, the disbelief, the horror, the anger! We learned then you can not reason or compromise with terrorists. You can't politically defeat them with treaties. You can't stop cowardly murderers by showing a peaceful hand.

I wish you could, but you CAN'T.

Maniacs will always cause hysteria. They don't understand anything but violence. So to defeat them you must respond with violence.

And punish the countries that are funding them, but that is a different post...

So even though I think that all civilized countries should coordinate to wipe ISIS off the face of the Earth, that doesn't mean I believe all Muslims should be punished for the crimes of a few.

I would like to see peaceful Muslims speak out and  speak loudly and denounce the crimes of their brothers. However whether out of fear or that they  silently agree with the terror, they have not.

That still doesn't mean I hate them.

I am sick of people assuming because my stance is different from theirs that I am intolerant or ignorant. They want tolerance, but only if one believes as they do.

So who is intolerant now?

The Cosby Controversy

Read my articles featured on Writedge and My dailytwocents about the Cosby Rape Controversy. Just close the windows when done to return to my blog.

You Fooled Us Mr. Cosby

Musician Janis Ian Decribes Encounter with Cosby

When Atheist Attack...

Photo CredOctober 7, 2014 

~~~DISCLAIMER~~~ I have no intention of being offensive with this post. I was just feeling a bit irritated with all the online attacks I had seen lately on Christians and decided to vent my frustration. Please know whatever your faith or lack there of, I still respect your viewpoint. ~~~

I am a Christian, if you follow me, you already know that. I follow lots of people, have lots of friends of varying faiths, or who are agnostic or atheist. We are able to have fulfilling discussions that do not offend the other person's view of the world. We are just a group of people learning from one another. The thing I do not understand is why when I am online, minding my own business, reading a Christian blog, or a news story, why do atheists get on the message boards and disparage our faith? I don't do that to atheist based stories. I have no inclination to make someone else feel bad about what they do or do not believe. However, I have been attacked online...been called a member of the "Christian Taliban" (Really? I don't know anyone who has blown up an opposing church or cut someone's head off for their faith. Interestingly hateful.)

I have had my God attacked, people call him the "Fairy in the sky", a "blank piece of paper"...people say I imagine HIM. I laughed out loud at the last one. The truth is I wasn't always as close to God as I am now. I even contemplated other religions, but quickly realized my mistake and came running back... He accepted me back and we are tight now. Jesus and I, we are in this 'til the end, and once that end comes we are in this forever. No one makes me feel so complete, no one makes me feel such pure joy, and the truth is...If I am one of the billions on the Earth who are "imagining" my relationship with HIM, then well...I don't want it any other way. I would rather live my life for Christ, and die and realize I was wrong about him, then to live my life groundless with no faith, and realize He was real after all. The consequences for being wrong about there being a God...Nothing I would wish on anyone. (Read the book, "23 Minutes In Hell." )

But I digress, my theory as to why atheist take such offense to anything looking like faith is because deep down, we all know there is a higher power. Deep down everyone feels that pull towards God.

Everyone.

You can fight it, you can deny it, but at some point you made the decision that you didn't want to "believe" in God and thus decided He wasn't real. God isn't like Santa Claus. His presence is felt by billions of people every minute of every day. Billions of people can not be wrong.

No matter how bad you want them to be.

Atheist attack me for my faith, simply because they have none.

I will continue to smile and be cordial. I have no dog in their fight. I will just tell them about the God I know, and let HIM fight this battle.

We know who wins anyway.

A Very ADD Entry Regarding My Life The Past Few Days....

The past week has been a wonderful surprise.  Beginning the second day on my thyroid medication, I woke up feeling better. I have more energy, and I have been able to get a tremendous amount of stuff done.

Could this have been my problem all along?  Definitely since I was 28 years old, I have felt bad. I slugged through life with little hope of feeling better and now here I am considerably healthy and happy.  Now at 41, I feel good again. Good enough to want to get out and do things and move, and finish things!!! I have taken only a handful of naps this week and none of them were the completely exhausted, dead-to-the-world-wake-up-groggy-and-feeling-worse type of naps. These were much shorter and I woke up feeling better!

I haven't weighed so I do not know if I lost any weight.  My appetite has been greatly diminished since starting the medication as well. Some days I would have a small snack and only eat one full meal because I was busy and not hungry.

I have talked to others who have hypothyroidism and are on the same type of medication as I am,  and who say the good benefits diminished with time for them.

I am really hoping that does not happen to me.

Yesterday, I walked 3.5 miles.

I made real progress on my bedroom. :) We are almost to the point of rearranging and finally decorating it!

 Last weekend, raccoons got into my chickens...who were still living on my Dad's farm... and killed 8 of them.  It was horrible. I will spare any readers details, but it was traumatizing to see my feathery friends meet such horrific ends. Raccoons will keep coming back and killing more chickens repeatedly, until the are all gone. They are very cunning hunters and can find ways into the run, you never realized were possible.  So my Dad and I decided the best course of action was to just go ahead and move them over to our new place, even though we really were not ready for them.  So, I caged them up and hauled them over here. I created a small run and covered it with tarps to keep them from flying out.  That worked well for the 3 days until my Husband could get a day off to help me build a new run.  My brother-in-law used his tractor to move the coop.  We reassembled the run here. It isn't anything like we planned, but maybe with time, I can expand it the way I had envisioned it. So, I worked on moving and reassembling the chicken coop and run.  I finished wiring in the "roof" to the chicken run (It is a a wire top to keep predators out.) We placed the chicken coop backwards to the run so we can use the big doors in the front to collect eggs and clean the coop and not have to go in and out of the run.  Due to that, the chickens had no shelter, as we have not yet cut their new door in the back for entering and exiting...so I packed the two cages we use to transport them in, and put them in the run, placed a tight fitting tarp around the cages for protection from the elements, and then...because chickens don't always sleep where you want them to... I installed two roosts high up in the run, so the chickens can sleep up top if they want to (and they did.) Next, I installed a post for my bobble head, dummy, owl to perch. He scares off predators.  Then I spent the rest of the night picking big, green, caterpillars off my tomato plants, and feeding them to the chickens. I also tied my tomato plants up and took the dogs for their nightly walk in the dusk.

I think it was a very productive day.

Today will not be as productive.

I got up at 6:30, worried about my cat Roly. She had gotten hit by a car last Friday.  I hadn't seen her for nearly 24 hours, so I got up and put food out and called the cats. She came and ate and drank and then disappeared again. She sleeps most of the time right now. I am sure she still has a pretty bad headache. She had a serious concussion, knocked some teeth out of her mouth, and skinned up her pretty face.  She also lost all use of her front right leg. She has learned to hold it up instead of dragging it, so I am hoping that signifies she has regained some control of her "elbow."  She still has not attempted to walk on it, and if she does not regain use of it, it will probably need to be amputated sometime in the future.

Later today I am taking my son to Georgetown to pick up something?  Then back home to clean up before my Husband gets home.  I still need to clean the chicken coop and bury fence to prevent animals from digging in... There is always something that needs to be done!

I forgot to mention it, but it is  beautiful day!  The breeze feels lovely.  Thank you God for such amazing peace and beauty.

Carpe Diem! 

And the diagnosis is...

A few days ago, I finally received my test results of the blood work I had done, over a month ago. I had went to my doctor with the explicit purpose of getting myself tested for hypothyroidism.

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and arthritis at the tender age of 28. I have always managed to keep my fibro at bay, for the most part by, exercising and eating well. Then, I was derailed straight into hell...

In the past, I had loved winter. As a substitute teacher, I love snow days! I loved getting out in the snow and playing with my kids. I didn't love it as much as Summer, but it still was enjoyable. That all changed 3 winters ago when I began having problems.

One winter I began to get depressed. Depressed enough I knew I needed help and went and got put on Zoloft, an antidepressant. That seemed to help the "winter blues" I was having. The next winter, I had to go have my dosage of Zoloft increased.  I also began avoiding going outside because of the cold. Cold was painful.  Not just normal painful, but painful enough that it caused me to avoid it at all costs. I lived in a mobile home that was near impossible to regulate temperature, and there were days were I would lay in bed, because I could not function if the house was too cold.  This last winter was more of the same. I bought a "Happy light-" A light that gives off full spectrum light to increase your bodies production of vitamin D.  I also started putting full spectrum light bulbs in the lamps around the house. It helped slightly, but I had to up my dosage of Zoloft again.

I also started losing my hair.  I have exceptionally thick hair, but I was losing it by the handfuls. My skin became irritably dry and itchy. There were nights I couldn't sleep and lay in bed slathering myself in Aveeno anti-itch lotion.  I didn't know why this all was happening to me, but at times I thought I was losing my mind.

All of this I blamed on fibromyalgia. I had been doing very well dealing with my fibro, but all the sudden the symptoms changed and came at me full force. I still had arthritis. I still had achiness occasionally, but the fatigue is what was really getting me. I have to nap quite often, and I can literally sleep a huge part of the day away if I didn't have kids who kept me going.  This was new.  I attributed it to my use of Zoloft. A big side effect of Zoloft is sleepiness. However, this went way beyond being tired, but I just didn't see it. This was fatigue.

There were some people in my life, who just didn't see my suffering. To them I was lazy...."You sleep more than anyone I know!" "Get up and do something, you will feel better!" "There is nothing wrong with you." "You feel bad everyday." If you have to say that to someone close to you, take a step back and look at the situation with new eyes, because something is NOT right. 

The sad truth is I felt lazy. I didn't understand why I had to sleep...why I had to literally hide from the cold (Even a super cool air conditioner is painful), why I felt crazy...why did my skin itch so bad?  Why was I depressed? What is wrong with me that I am so miserable?  I am worthless.

In desperation to manage my life, I abused caffeine. Caffeine is my drug.  I am not even sure how much I ingest a day, but I think it's the equivalent to 8 cups of coffee. I drink Crystal light energy...all. day. long.  I do this just to function. Despite this, I still am not functioning well, and still need naps.

During a nasty sinus infection I discovered real Sudafed-not the over-the-counter-stuff... the good stuff they hide behind the counter- will give you a good dose of all day energy.  I hate to admit it, but there are days where I will take the 24 hour Sudafed just so I can focus and have energy to clean my house.

I work as a Substitute teacher. If I had to work that day, I was in bed by 6:00 PM. I literally had nothing left to give my husband and my children.

I felt like a failure.

So this brings me to a few months ago, while I was sitting in my chiropractor's office reading one of the little magazines they give out for free. I began reading an article about hypothyroidism. My niece had been diagnosed with it a year ago, and so I thought I would read and get to know more about it.

The moment I saw the symptom list it was like a light went off above me and all the Heaven's sang out in unison...

• Fatigue YES!
• Increased sensitivity to cold HORRIBLY SO!
• Constipation OCCASIONALLY
• Dry skin YES! To the point I was having to buy special dry skin-itch lotions!!
• Unexplained weight gain YES!
• Puffy face  Uhh...YEAH!
• Hoarseness Sometimes.
• Muscle weakness Sometimes.
• Elevated blood cholesterol level NO.
• Muscle aches, tenderness and stiffnessYES!
• Pain, stiffness or swelling in your joints YES!
• Heavier than normal or irregular menstrual periods YES!
• Thinning hair Oh YEAH!
• Slowed heart rate Not sure.
• Depression YES!!
• Impaired memory YES!!

I had 14 of the 16 symptoms. It wasn't fibro making me miserable. It was my thyroid!!

You would have thought I would have ran to the doctor immediately.  However, I didn't. I researched and read.  I learned that most hypothyroidism is caused by an autoimmune disease. Those run in my family, so I was concerned. However, I do not yet know if that is the case with me. I also learned that hypothyroidism is a rampant disease in this country.  It shouldn't be due to our abundance of iodine containing foods. Makes me wonder what is in the water? 

So I went to the doctor and she ordered my blood work. She also ordered labs to test my vitamin D levels, (which I suspected were low), and my cholesterol.

The tests came back just as I suspected. Low Vitamin D levels, and a broken thyroid. I upped my daily intake of Vitamin D3 to 5000 IU's a day and the Doc started me on Levothyroxin. ($4 at Wal-Mart! SCORE!) I will continue to use my happy light, even though it is Summer, and I will try to spend more time outdoors.  I need to lose weight so I will go on walks and try to eat better.

I am optimistic that this will give me some relief from the fatigue, and hair loss, and cold sensitivity, and dry skin!  I am just thankful to know I am not  crazy, I am not lazy, I am not a wimp...what has been affecting me has name, and it's manageable! 

A Wake Up Call?

This morning, I awoke up to a pain in back around my shoulder blade. As I moved around the pain seemed to go through me to my chest.  It feels "sore" when I inhale deeply.  There were a few times I was short of breath and had light dizzy spells. I applied a lidocaine patch to my shoulder and took a nap.  The dizziness and shortness of breath went away, but the pain through my back/chest is still there. I may have pulled something, but at my weight, and non-fitness level, you have to wonder if it's my heart.

 I had a stress test 10 years ago, and all was clear then. However, I heard the doctor tell the hot male nurse that if I didn't change my ways, I would have problems in 10-20 years.

So it's 10 years later.  While I have changed my ways...I no longer consume pop like ts going out of style, and I have lost weight...just to regain it. The sad truth is I weigh more right now than I ever have in my entire life.  I have to get moving, but I have no motivation. None.  I don't know what to do to help that.

 I checked my blood pressure today and it was 144/89.  This was while I was in pain, and after my morning caffeine, so I waited and took it again later. It was still high 137/79. That's high for me Anyway. Usually my blood pressure is 120/60.

What has to happen to make me wake up and want to take better care of myself? Do I have to have a heart attack? Get cancer? I am tired of being this way. I am tired of feeling bad, and bad about myself.  I just need motivation.

So tomorrow we are going to do this. I am going to log my food, walk and exercise, and do whatever I need to to feel better.

 If you want to check out my food and exercise log: Visit my Sparkpeople page HERE.

God's Warning to the United States

A few months  ago, I read several articles about a "prophet" from Australia who was calling on her entire nation to pray for both their own country and the USA. It seems God told her both countries were at the "Tipping" point, and without a great revival the USA would be lost.

I think the tipping point is now.

A few days after the historic and potentially disastrous legalization of gay marriage I found another woman, who was told by God that our nation is in dire trouble and on the verge of Heavenly destruction. Her name is Laire Lightner, and she has given a warning that if America does not turn back to God, he will do to us as he did in Isaiah Chapter 1.

Here is the video she has made explaining what God revealed to her:
A warning to the Church

Here are some pieces from that the chapter she speaks of, Isaiah Chapter 1...
Verses 2-4
 "Listen, O heavens and hear, O earth;
For the Lord speaks,
Sons I have reared and brought you up,
But they have revolted against Me.
An ox knows its owner,
And a donkey its  master's manger,
But Israel does not know,
My people do not understand.

Alas sinful nation,
People weighed down with inequity,
Offspring of evildoers,
Sons who act corruptly!
They have abandoned the Lord,
They have despised the Holy One Of Israel,
They have turned away from him.
(Sound like any nation you know?)

Verses 7-9
Your land is desolate,
Your cities are burned with fire,
Your fields-strangers are devouring them in your presence;
It is desolation, as overthrown by strangers.
and the daughter of Zion is left like a shelter in a vineyard,
Like a watchman's hut in a cucumber field, like a besieged city.
Unless the Lord of hosts
Had left us a few survivors,
We would be like Sodom,
We would be like Gomorrah.

Verse 15
So when you spread your hands in prayer,
I will hide My eyes from you,
Yes, even though you multiply prayers,
I will not listen. (This is scarier to me than anything else. A world where Good will not listen to us will be a horrible one indeed.)
Your hands are covered in blood.

Verse 21-23
How the faithful city has become a harlot,
She who was full of justice!
Righteousness once lodged against her,
But now murderers.
Your silver has become dross,
Your drink diluted with water.
Your rulers are rebels,
And companions of thieves;
Everyone loves a bribe,
and chases after rewards.
They do not defend the orphan,
Nor does the widow's plea come before them.
(Sounds like our country's leaders)

Verse 30-31
For you will be like an Oak whose leaf fades away,
Or as a garden that has no water.
And the strong man will become tinder,
His work also a spark.
Thus they shall both burn together,
And there will be none to quench them.

Read the entire chapter for yourselves.  (If you don't have a bible, you can read the entire chapter plus commentary here.) Then think about turning your life over to Jesus. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
********************

Revelation 3:15-17
"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot. So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth.… Because you say, "I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing," and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked,"

America is naked. America is wretched. We are poor. Without God we are nothing, will have nothing, and will cease to exist.  America does not exist in Bible prophecy. Why? Because we turn away from God. It has been foretold.

Sources: http://www.elijahlist.com/words/display_word.html?ID=14657
Laire Lightner
Bible verses from The International Inductive Study Bible. NASB, 1977.  Lockman Foundation. Precept Ministries.

So What's Your Problem?

I have a problem with being so open and honest about my problems. When you open up to your "Friends" on social media too many times people will accuse you-behind your back- of ranting, or of being a drama queen, or an attention whore, or any other of the vast array of insults and put-downs that tend to hurt feelings and make one not want to share any part of yourself with the cruel, cruel, world.

To be an effective, successful blogger you have to have something that pulls people in. The most successful blogs are often ones where the author shares a part of their life, a piece of themselves. I know that to identify the root of my own problem within my own mind, that I will need to be completely honest with you, my audience. It's not going to be easy. For that reason, I doubt I will share all my personal blog posts regularly with my facebook friends.

So what is my problem?

I am a self saboteur. I am so good at it, I have completely destroyed my own life, my own health, my own potential.  The problem is...I don't know why I do it.

I have potential. Not to toot my own horn, but I am smart. I am reasonably attractive. I have talent...lots of it. I can do just about anything I set my  mind to.

And I do! I bust out the gate at the start, gun-ho and raring to go.  I may even lead at the first turn, I may be winning...inevitably, I see how well I am doing and decide that second place isn't so bad, the backstretch arrives things get tough,  I feel tired,and so I slow down and take a breather, telling myself  I can catch up. By the final turn, I have completely given up. I just stop. No one can beat me, if I quit first.

In high school, I ran cross country and track.  In cross country, a team scored based on how well their team finished. The team with the lowest score would win. I would let other girls from my own team pass me.  I told myself-and my mother who confronted me about it- that it was fine if my teammates passed me...the team score was still the same.  It wasn't until years later I realized that even then I was self sabotaging. I was giving up in the name of "team spirit."  I realize years later that I continued to do this in many areas.  It was okay to wear sweat pants, and get fat, and be unhealthy...my kids always looked great and were doing well. It was okay that I didn't own a coat during frigid Kentucky winters...I sacrificed my own needs for those of my kids.  That is what I told myself, and it was undoubtedly true.  What I didn't want to hear at the time is my sacrificial attitude was unnecessary. My kids are ridiculously spoiled. They don't remember half the toys featured in their bygone Christmas pictures, having had so many awesome gifts given to them year in and year out. Buying myself a coat would have been a smart investment. Losing my hand to frostbite, not so much.

I see now, after reflecting over my last 40-plus years, that at least since high school, I have been allowing myself to lose. I made sure I failed.  Honestly, the fact I finished college with honors is perhaps my greatest accomplishment, (except the birth and raising of my children) because it is the only time in my last 20 years that I did something from start to finish and did it well.

Self sabotaging...it doesn't sound so bad. You just stop, right?  I see what I am doing and I just...stop...doing... it. Sadly, it doesn't work like that. I can identify that I am self sabotaging,  know when I am doing it, but I can not bring myself to stop self sabotaging. I have some sort of deep seeded issue.

What has self sabotaging cost me?

My health- I am grossly overweight, have fibromyalgia and arthritis, and feel generally bad much of the time.

My Financial health- I just can't get it together, I forget to pay bills, I am in an insurmountable amount of debt. I have no control at all over my finances. I don't make much money, but what I make I spend immediately. Sometimes out of necessity, but sometimes on frivolous things. I see something I want, and it becomes an obsession, and I work to find a way to afford it, whether I can truly afford it or not. Why do I do these things?  I am not sure. My relationship with money is just as screwed up as my relationship with food.

Procrastination- I am the world's worst procrastinator. I used to excuse my bad habit because I honestly can do some of my best work under pressure. However, the procrastinating kept getting bigger, until I began to miss deadlines. I missed classes in college, turned in work late, began to miss appointments, and I started feeling guilty because I was putting other people out with my tardiness.  This all goes right back to my self sabotaging....screw it up however you can.

The truth is, things start to go well and for some reason, I blow it every...single...time. I have not yet had my epiphany on why I do these things to myself. Is it because I don't feel good enough?  I obviously have some deep-seeded self-hate to so thoroughly destroy a life that had a promising beginning. I remember people taking special interest in me. Teachers pulling me aside and building me up. I sang solos in Christmas programs in Elementary school, won speech/Drama Club awards in Middle School for my dramatic interpretations. I was called to the counslor's office because I showed such promise as a budding poet...I was a talented distance runner, a good all-around athlete, but I struggled in Math and I never felt smart.

So I got to High School and decided that I didn't care. I was happy to pull C's while my friends cranked out A's and B's.  I just wasn't as smart and frankly, I didn't give a damn. That story lasted until my junior year when we took the ACT. I scored just as well as my "smart friends," and thus it was quickly discovered, I was lazy, and again I didn't care.

Something happened to me in High School that forever changed the fabric of the hopeful kid I was. Teenage angst quickly became hormonal imbalance. No one saw it at the time. Everyone just thought I was a bitch. However, I remember a sad, slightly depressed freshman girl who hated the way she looked, who didn't feel pretty enough, or smart enough, or good enough about anything. My freshmen year I was really good at Cross Country. I was so good that I even beat the seniors in many races. They didn't have my attitude about getting beat by a teammate, and I noticed after several races the seniors would high five one another when they would beat me. This should have spurred me on to push harder and to beat them next time, but in my desperateness to feel accepted, I took on the attitude...it didn't matter...the team score was the same.

My freshmen year, I also got my first boyfriend. I honestly felt honored that he paid any attention to me at all. He would use me and dump me, use me and dump me...repeatedly for several years before I started to slowly see my own worth, and finally I broke the cycle with him.  However, the damage had already been done, and I took more shit from useless, teenage boys than I ever should have. I got pregnant when I was 16 by one of my oldest friends, and at 17 gave birth to one of my greatest accomplishments. I don't regret having my child. However, I regret allowing other people to make me feel like shit because of it. I regret allowing an entire town to gossip and look down their noses at me. Me, a scared little teenage girl who had made a mistake with the wrong boy...Grown adults gossiped about me at a factory where the people I babysat for worked. They heard the rumor of  my pregnancy, before I even got a chance to tell them myself.

I understand exactly what it felt like to wear a scarlet letter.

To be continued...

*****This is a new blog, so will you please be a dear and hit the +1, so I can get more readers? Thanks so much in advance!*****

To be painfully honest...

Good Morning!

Morning tends to be the best time to write for me. My creative juices are flowing, and things are quiet.  I am also at my most reflective in the mornings.

First, I want to thank you for reading. There are billions of blogs in the world, and the fact that you landed on mine is pretty cool. Thanks for reading and stick around for more.

This blog is going to be extremely personal. The story is mine.  The photos I will share...mine. The poetry and short stories...also mine,  unless stated otherwise.

I am currently 41 years old.  I don't feel that old.   Time truly does fly, and sometimes I sit and marvel at where the years between 20 and 40 went.

I have always written, my entire life. It is my outlet. The best way for my ADD brain to adequately express myself. I am too spontaneous to adequately communicate with any other medium that doesn't require me to go back and proofread.

This blog is my journey and I am going to use it to write about whatever I darn well please.  Here are a few things you can expect me for me to cover:

*Weight loss- I am disgustingly overweight at this time and I am going to use my free time this summer to get into shape and lose the weight.
*Health & Fitness-  Same reasons as above.
*Politics- Rarely, but occasionally I like to write a good rant about how corrupt our government is. They are entertaining.
*Current Events- My thoughts on whatever is going on in the world.
*Debt- I am in debt up to my eyeballs. I am going to write about my journey out and about how I got into this mess in the first place.
*My personal life- Expect me to cover things that are happening around me.
*Genealogy- I am a family history, genealogy nerd.
*What I am reading- Whatever book has caught my eye, will often get a brief synopsis of its finer points here on this blog.
*Products I love- I am going to also give honest, unpaid reviews about the things I love and some things I don't.

So there you have it. My next post will be about the beginning of my weight loss journey.  So buckle up buttercups...here we go!

*****This is a new blog, so will you please be a dear and hit the +1 above, so I can get more readers? Thanks so much in advance!*****

My New Home

I am sitting outside on the back deck of the house we just purchased in April.

It's a tiny little house.  It has three perfectly square tiny bedrooms, a teeny kitchen, one and a half baths, and a laundry/ mudroom. It comes on 2 acres with a 1000 sq ft garage- perfect for my husband to hide away in.  The 2 acre yard is massive and neat, entrenched between white plank fences holding in teeming farms. The land sports a cistern, and a concrete front porch perfect for swinging on and watching the neighbors pass by while sipping sweet tea- that is if we had a swing.

 We basically stole this house. A victim of the recession it had changed hands several times in the past few years, finally settling into our capable ones.  It's perfect here. Quiet. I have uninterrupted views of the sunset and the sunrise, rolling green hills, fertile ponds, and thick trees in all directions.  Goats, turkeys, and dogs from neighboring farms often stop in to see us. In the month we have been here we have watched 2 nests of finches hatch, grow, and leave the nests.  Horses graze in the field across the country road every afternoon. My dogs and cats have a fenced in area to play.

The kids complain of being bored.

Perfection.

Formerly, we lived on my parents farm. A family friend dubbed it "Walton's Mountain" because it seems no one really leaves it. It was much more noisy there. Constant entertainment lay just down the road, and lots of people to talk to if you got lonely.  Sisters and nieces often dropped in, and it was rarely this quiet. My own kids often the source of the noise & commotion.

Summer evenings were especially fun, when family would descend upon Momma's house and we would go for walks, or play basketball, or just sit on her porch and laugh about each others antics.

Here, the kids have adapted to the silence. They seem calmer here. More at ease. Summer evenings are silent, except for the tree frogs singing, crickets chirping, bull frogs croaking and the comforting click of my keyboard.

Lonely? Yes, but a peace that is a balm to my soul.

I do miss the laughter of  Walton's  Mountain, though.

*****This is a new blog, so will you please be a dear and hit the +1, so I can get more readers? Thanks so much in advance!*****